5 Tips for Being a More Patient Parent.

Please, stop jumping off the sofa. You are going to get hurt. Please stop jumping off the sofa. I’m only going to tell you once more. PLEASE STOP JUMPING OFF THE SOFA! That’s it. I told you enough times now GO TO YOUR ROOM.

Does the above sound familiar? That is me ALMOST EVERY DAY. This is just a scenario and I could go on. Sometimes is the incessant screaming and crying for reasons I’m yet to discover, sometimes its the hiding to avoid getting dressed in the morning and sometimes its just the fact that it takes way more than 30 minutes to leave the house after everyone and everything is ready and we are all standing by the front door!

I really don’t want to lose it but sometimes the kids just seem to push and push until the cork pops and then there is no turning back.  The problem is that when I do lose it the situation doesn’t get any better. In fact it normally escalates and gets a lot worse because now everyone is upset, frustrated and ready to throw in the towel.

Patience is certainly something I would like to have more of and so in an attempt to become a calmer and more patient parent I have been trying out the following:

5 Tips for Being a More Patient Parent

1. Get the camera and take a photo. It sounds a little crazy but getting my camera and documenting some the less glamorous and beautiful parenting moments really helps because it gives me an instant break from the situation and therefore I’m less likely to lose my patience.

2. Take deep breaths. Deep breathing is used in various relaxation techniques. Not only does it calm me down slightly but more importantly it buys me another few seconds to compose myself and keep my cool.

3. They are not doing it on purpose. This one is really hard sometimes because even though I know that most of the time they are just being kids and that being challenging is part of their psychological development it just feels like they are out to get you! But normally just saying it to myself helps me find that last little bit of patience.

4. Fake it. This is where my performance skills come in really handy. Sometimes when I feel like I’m about to lose my patience I just fake it and impersonate the most patient mother on the planet! I speak slowly, lower my voice and try really hard not to look mad.

5. Give yourself a break. I would love to be ‘perfect’ and never lose my patience but the truth is that is impossible. There are no ‘perfect’ parents and most of all we are only human. If we didn’t sometimes lose patience or even get really cross that would be strange. Some days will be better than others and the important thing is that you are trying your best. For me this works wonders because I don’t transfer my frustrations with myself onto the kids.

I hope you found this post interesting and helpful. I would love to hear what you think. Leave me a message below with your thoughts and any other tips.

Love, P

Mr and Mrs T Plus Three
The Pramshed
Dear Bear and Beany

59 comments

  1. Taking a deep breath really does help. I don’t know how it works but it does. I also try faking it but I don’t think I’ve very good at it. I haven’t tried taking a photo and I kind of like that idea. Maybe I’ll try that next time. Usually when I try to catch a moment with the camera Peachy immediately stops what she’s doing so maybe you’re onto somthing there. The only other thing I do is I remind myelf of the importance of picking my battles. Some things seem important, but they’re not. I try to let those things go. #SharingtheBlogLove

  2. I find pausing and taking a picture helps me too! I struggle with the breathing method usually because by the time I realise I need it I have already shouted. Some days are so hard, others not so difficult. I hope in the bad days my patience improves. Some great tips.
    #SharingtheBlogLove

  3. I’ve just written a post on a similar theme – fed up of feeling like a bit of a nag, I’ve decided to turn a nag into a gag. Obviously not all the time! I’m glad for your reminder to take photos. Not a bad way to calm down for a few minutes and just observe them being little. Will definitely try this one! #sharingthebloglove

  4. The breathing thing is what works for me! Sounds silly but just taking a few deep breaths before speaking, really stops me from losing my cool. I also fake it- I’ve got a really fake, slow voice that I think the kids pick up on and know that ‘mummy means business’ when I use it! xx #SharingtheBlogLove

  5. I really need this post at the moment. My little girl is nearly 18 months and she’s just beginning to assert her independence and explore absolutely everything. I love the take a photograph idea so much. Its a win win because i want to take more photographs this year anyway – I’m going to have a camera full of them lol! Glad to know I’m not the only one who fakes it too. #sharingthebloglove

  6. Great tips, I really like the camera one, what a great way to help stop & take in the whole situation. #sharingthebloglove

  7. I need to have these tips playing in my head when Holly is off on one! She is really pushing my buttons at the moment and whereas I was normally able to cope, my limits have been pushed on occasion. What is lovely when I read posts like this, is to know I’m not alone. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x

  8. Patience is something I’ve never been good with. N is a nightmare for not tidying up after himself and for leaving knives and scissors lying around. He just doesn’t think. One of my friends once told me that having kids made you more patient. While I’m more laid back than I was before, I’m not sure I have more patience #sharingthebloglove

  9. I always considered myself a patient person until I became a parent! I definitely find that taking deep breaths and reminding myself that they’re just being a normal toddler is helpful, but in those moments where I do lose it, I’ve learned that there’s no point in beating myself up about it. It’s happened, better for everyone to just move on. Thanks so much for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  10. Good tips! Especially taking a photo. You’re right, it does always give you perspective and remind you that when you look at the pic later on, you’ll probably be laughing. And thanks for saying ‘Parent’ rather than ‘mum’! #sharingthebloglove

  11. This is so well timed for me as I feel like I’m losing the plot with my just turned two year old. I have her little 6 month old brother too so some days I really have to dig deep. The times I do explode I always end up feeling awful about myself (which is the worst thing about trying kids isn’t it? Seeing a version of ourselves we don’t like). I have tried all of these tactics except the photos! I’m so going to try that one and maybe even turn it into a fun game where I tell them her to scowl or stick out her tongue. Distraction is definitely the way forward but sometimes just nothing works. I totally hear you though. My daily battles involve nappies, getting dressed, tooth brushing x 2 a day, eating, coats on, PJ’s on. I know people say pick your battles but seriously? These things all HAVE to happen. Thanks for reminding me it’s not just me. Kids are kids and it’s all about how we manage our own reaction to their antics that makes the difference xx

  12. This is very interesting as I would not have thought of using a camera at all. I might give it a go the next time but then again, I’m not sure if the youngest would act up even more. Well, you won’t know if you don’t try, right? I guess the camera forces you to take a step back and see it with a different perspective? Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink

  13. Just popping back again. These really are fab tips and I needed to be reminded of them today, when I popped to the toilet and came back to find Youngest drawing all over the wall with crayons :-/ #bigpinklink

  14. absolutely love the taking a photo of the situation response – inspired! Can just imagine if i did that to my teens how they would actually start behaving – brilliant – will let you know how I get on! The MindfulMummy talks about breathing and saying the words in when you inhale and out when you exhale just to get focus again – I love her advice so I’d try this too for sure when you do your breathing! #BigPinkLink

  15. I love the the tip about taking a photo – I find that helps too, because it helps me see the funny side of what’s happening. I also have to remind myself that my daughter isn’t being naughty on purpose – she’s a toddler and she’s exploring and experimenting, just like all toddlers do. #bigpinklink

  16. I’m so guilty of losing my rag and I found this a powerful read. I really like the idea of taking a photo to diffuse the situation – and I’m trying to take more photos anyway – plus number 3 is very valid!

  17. I find it harder as my kids get older actually, because I tend to expect more of them and I do think they are pushing me on purpose. I need to remind myself of no.3 for sure. I also love your no.1 tip of grabbing the camera – even if it is to show them afterwards why you were cross with them (or to blog about their awful antics!). Thanks for these great tips! #TheList

  18. It is so hard to avoid getting frustrated or losing patience, I have got better at it and I no longer feel like screaming (I think that’s because I can now get my daughter down for a nap in her cot). We are all guilty of losing patience, and it’s so easy to get swept up into it, therefore I love your suggestions. The last four are all something I do, but number 1 is a new trick. My other trick is just to walk away and complete a small chore – unload the dishwasher etc, just to take my mind off the situation. Thanks for linking this week Pat at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

  19. Oh I definitely feel where you are coming from. Some days it does seem like my toddler is doing things just to push my buttons. I’ve always had a lot of patience but nothing can test it more than parenting. These are great ideas. I also like taking pictures as it helps me laugh at the situation. #KCACOLS #TribalLove

  20. Staying calm, especially once you have more than one child, must be one of the hardest things about parenting. I know I am better off staying calm, but some days things just go wild… I’m reading Calm Parents, Happy, Siblings, and there some great advice there.
    I like the idea of taking a photo – it removes you from the situation and helps gain perspective
    #thlist

  21. Wonderful tips. I love the idea of pausing to take a photo – will def be trying that. I’m terrible and reminding myself he isn’t doing it on purpose, I take it very personally, need to work on this. Thanks! X #stayclassy

  22. I swear they are genetically programmed to know what buttons to press. It is easy to snap but that doesn’t help anyone, I just try and remind myself that this is a toddler being a toddler.
    Excellent reminder to chill the heck out!
    #fortheloveofBLOG #triballove

  23. I will be trying some of these! Particularly like the deep breathing and faking it! It can be hard not to lose your rag but I’m also attempting to be more patient! #triballove #thelist #fortheloveofBLOG

  24. Hurrah! I’m glad it’s not just me! I feel like I’ve been losing it lately every single day. Like you whether it’s to try and break up fighting or just to get out the front door to get to school on time. Was thinking of writing a blog on patience myself. I’d love to have more of it and I feel really bad because I seem to lose my patience all the time. Some great tips thank you! #TheList x

  25. Some very good tips here. It is so easy to lose it and start raising your voice which then causes children to raise their voices to make themselves and then you raise even more and before you know everyone is shouting at the top of their lungs and all hell is breaking. Your tips are great because they remind us of the need to stay calm and relaxed. I think taking the photo is a really great one 🙂 xx #thelist

  26. Very interesting and helpful, yes thank you. Particularly the photo one…that’s a great tip because it takes you out a bit of the situation which is very clever. I try to use both patience and playfulness. I find the latter has a really positive response/outcome – it has really surprised me – but I do have to fake it sometimes/a lot of the time when I’m about to explode! Kate Orson’s blog has some great playful parenting tips. #triballove

  27. Excellent advice! I especially like ‘taking deep breaths,’ I think this actually helps me be a more patient Mom. Faking it is another good one, let’s just pretend I am patient and then I will actually be patient haha. The photography one is interesting too, I never would have thought of this – I really like the photo you included in the post too : ). Thanks for sharing with #StayClassy!

  28. Breathing seems so simple but it really helps to calm things. I work on the deep breaths and counting (aloud to 10). I use the same approach with my son when he has a meltdown and it helps him claim too.

    #StayClassy

  29. I like to think I’m quite patient but inevitably there are times when patience seems to disappear! I like the thought of grabbing my phone for a photo! Plus if your a blogger it gives you excellent material to work with for future posts, especially of the ranty genre haha! #Stayclassy

  30. Thank you for this! I struggle with patience at the moment which is hard for me because I’ve always been a really patient and laid back person, but the combination of a 4 year old a a 2 year old seems to be my weakness. Also when I’m tired I’m a lot grumpier and it’s really hard to take a deep breath and remember that they’re not doing it on purpose. I feel so guilty when I shout though and you’re right, it doesn’t make things any easier when I do loose it. Thanks for the reminder that I’m not the only one that struggles and no one is perfect xx

    1. We are humans before we are parents therefore sometimes we will lose our patience. The important thing to remember is that we try to do our best and we shouldn’t give ourselves a hard time for the ones where we couldn’t help but be cross. x

  31. I love this, it’s so true that if you can step back and take a breath it makes it so much easier to be patient. My girl is a bit younger but I find it so hard to be patient when she refuses to eat and has a complete meltdown…I’m going to try a few of these and see if it helps 🙂 xx #triballove

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