Life as a Stay at Home Mother

This post has been due for a very long time but, to be honest, being a stay at home mother is so new to me I had to get my head around it first before I could translate it into words.

I have always worked or studied or both and after having my first child, I went back to work full time like so many other mothers. I am the kind of person that always says I want a relaxed and stress free kind of life but that deep down thrives on working hard and having a full schedule. So, when the idea to move to Porto (for a few years) came about and my husband suggested I take some time off work and enjoy spending time with the children, I felt both happy and terrified at the prospect of being a stay at home mother.

What if I wasn’t good at it? What if I got bored? What if I felt lonely? Are the kids going to develop enough skills at home? Will I be a good role model to them? what about my career that I worked so hard to build? The questions were endless and they continue to creep up now and then.

The idea became reality and here I am, 10 months later… I’M A STAY AT HOME MOTHER! (for now). So far, these are my top pros as cons of being at home with the kids.

Pros

Playing peek-a-boo and catch for hours on end.

Watching them develop into little human beings and watch their little brains try to make sense of the world around them.

Spending time playing outdoors and looking for crabs and pretty pebbles by the sea.

Cuddling on the sofa and reading whenever we feel like it.

Look after the children when they are unwell without feeling guilty for not going to work.

Cons

I can’t remember last time I was able to use the bathroom on my own and that includes taking a shower without my lovely angels trying to get in there with me.

If I didn’t have my family around all the time I would definitely feel lonely and isolated.

Even though I know it is important to have ‘me time’ and do something completely unrelated with being a mother, it’s easy to get absorbed by the children’s needs and forget about myself.

Having to deal with tantrums 24/7.

For now this arrangement works for us and I’m happy with my choice. We will see how I feel in a few years when it’s time for the little one to go to school!

Are you a stay at home mother? How do you feel about it? I would love to hear your story.

Love, P

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Mummuddlingthrough
ethannevelyn
Diary of an imperfect mum

43 comments

  1. Great post. Porto looks gorgeous and a fab place to be a SAHM. Im also a SAHM and after 2 years of pretty much looking after my gorgeous little girl, we are both ready for her to go to nursery! It’s been a beautiful journey together, hard but rewarding know you’ve been there all the way but its time! Thanks for sharing. G #FamilyFun

  2. Porto looks lush! It sounds like it was the best decision for your family and that you enjoy it (mostly!). I am on maternity leave but it’s actually my husband’s business (a pub!) that I work for so when I want to work again I can pretty much choose what I want to do (cleaning, admin or bar work) and fit it round his hours. I don’t have to worry about how the time off will have affected by worklife either which is a huge bonus.
    It also means he is usually at home during the day until around 3 so I get to shower and everything without stress, which is very nice indeed. #stayclassy

  3. I’m not a SAHM but I always find these kind of posts interesting as it’s nice to see things from a totally different and, to me, somewhat alien perspective. My circumstances as a single parent mean that it’s really important to me to work full time, obviously mainly for financial reasons but also because from the perspective of my future career I am always going to be the sole earner and in the long run I don’t feel I can take any time out. At least that’s the way I feel. I hope I won’t regret that decision in future, but who knows? We just have to make the decisions we feel are right at the time. It’s good to hear that you’re enjoying it so far, and living in Porto sounds fab! #StayClassy

    1. Thanks Min. I absolutely believe you need to do whatever feels better for you and your family and as much as I love being at home with my kids more than anything sometimes I wish I was at work. I think you are absolutely amazing and very brave being a single parent. I honestly don’t know if I would be able to do it. Thanks for reading and the lovely comment.

  4. Oh I love this post, I’ve been wanting to know what it’s like going from full-time work to a stay at home Mom. Really interesting pros and cons list, the pros of being on the beach and reading time sound sooooo nice, but of course there are those tantrums! I think it’s all the same really because there are pros and cons at work, but I don’t know I’m very inexperienced with all of it…still on mat leave. Thanks for sharing with #StayClassy!

  5. I work two days a week and I’m at home with the kids the rest of the time. I try to take them out as much as possible, even if we just go to the beach or the park and run around for a bit. I don’t think I could cope if we were stuck inside 24/7 (which we actually kinda were over winter when all it did was rain!). But, at the same time, I’m really grateful that I’m not missing out on their moments, particularly the small one as I was working during so many of his brother’s milestone moments. X #stayclassy

  6. It’s so great to be able to read a post like this. I am not a SAHM yet…. but it’s something that we are thinking about as a family. Look forward to hearing more about your experience #FamilyFun

  7. I stay at home with my son, it was really important to me to do that. So do I feel very lucky I was able to make that decision? Yes. Is it easy? No. The need to validate my decision irks me sometimes…i get asked a lot ‘so what do you do all day?’…and yes that’s by other mothers too. The feeling that my career may need to look very different is a slightly scary/interesting one too. But I have gained more from two years parenting than I had in, I don’t know, ten years work. Confidence, skills, patience, efficiency, I volunteer, I blog…the list goes on and it makes me so sad and angry that those that take a break from working outside the home often get disadvantaged when going back into work. I’ll be fighting my corner when the time comes! A lovely post and I hope you find the list of pros grows more than the cons over time! #familyfun

    1. Completely agree. In fact a lot of my family members say they don’t known how I can just stay home with the kids. I have been home for the last 2 years and of course both pros and cons keep growing although pros are winning by a large amount. Thanks for the lovely comment. X

  8. Such a lovely husband for giving you this time! I’m just launching into my SAHM career! Yes I am approaching it as a career, for reasons I can’t explain! I’ve got a SAHM post in draft form that I’m working on too! Maybe I should get it written and published! So many adventures to be had! #familyfun

  9. I am a SAHM, I don’t have family or many friends and so can feel quite isolated. But the pros you listed are so true, irreplaceable memories you have with your children are priceless and these times won’t last forever, lovely post x #familyfun

    1. Definitely. Now that I am near my parents is great to be able to spend time with them but all my friends are at work so don’t get to see them very much. Thank you for reading and the lovely comment x

  10. Oh I loved reading this! I had a fab career in London with a full time Nanny up until a few years ago but finally made the decision to become a stay at home mummy after a disastrous family holiday where I realised that the children really needed me to be at home – enough said! It was the best decision for us as a family but took me a long time to adapt – I’m happy now and can see the benefits for my children. I think it is important that something doesn’t have to be forever but you have to do what is right for you and your family at the time and hey the career break is truly wonderful and the pros of being at home certainly outweigh the cons! Wonderful post with wonderful photos of your beautiful family #familyfun

  11. Wow! You live in Porto, Portugal?! I’ve been to Portal once on my University Trip. I remembered it was so beautiful. Being a stay at home mum is hard and all the things you have listed are so very true and I can relate to it all. I have a 5 years old and a nearly 2 years old, and it is rather exhausting but you know what – I love it regardless! Thank you so much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost 🙂

  12. never being alone in the bathroom! hahahaha! we can all totally relate to that! that day does come though, once they are in school. i think my biggest challenge as a stay at home mom is putting myself on a schedule/routine and sticking to it so i can actually get things done. without the pressure of limited time, i find i put things off or waste too much time on social media. 🙂

  13. Love this post, wonderful pictures! I was a stay at home mom (I’m now an empty nester), and I wouldn’t change a single thing. I LOVED being home with my daughters and felt so fortunate I was able to do so. Nice to meet you! I found your blog on Dream Big, Dream Often. Take care, Jenny

  14. I am the mom who works and is so envious of you!! I feel like I am missing out on my children’s lives. I think they may feel that way too and the guilt is impossible!! I can definitely see how it would be hard though. I love going to lunch each day with my work friends and being able to be seen as an adult and my own person. At home I have no other identity than mother. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side – well sometimes at least. I have thought for years about quitting work – talk about it all the time with the stressful job I have. But then reality snaps back in when I remember I have a daughter who is driving so she needs gas, insurance, an will be going to college in a year. Another one going in 3 years and how to afford all that?? Sorry for the rambling. Lovely post! : )

    1. Thank you so much for the comment and follow. It’s hard being a mum and part of the job is to always think we are not doing enough! I’m with you there. And you alright about the grass always greener…

  15. Oh my goodness, I can so relate to this line: “I am the kind of person that always says I want a relaxed and stress free kind of life but that deep down thrives on working hard and having a full schedule.”
    I feel so similar. I work outside of the home right now, but am in a constant battle internally over staying home. Thank you for sharing your perspective.

Please leave me a comment. I love reading them!

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